How many times have we complained or have felt the urge to give up? How many times have we prayed to the God to give us more strength and patience to carry on what is best for us, our kids and our families? How many times have we asked for a sign that he is listening to us and looking after? how many times have we stared at the sky wondering if he did the right thing by making us the special parent or if he really thought carefully before sending our beautiful angels in this World which is not in sync with their innocence and how scared we are that they will have to go out there and face those who are not that sensitive and not that considerate. Time and again We have asked for a little more… a little more independence for our children with special needs, a little more communication, a little more pencil holding skills, a little more balance or a little better worldly ways.
We keep asking and he keeps giving. I remember when Aarshia was on the ventilator in ICU recovering after her open heart surgery, all I used to ask from angels above was for her to be safe and healthy. She came out a winner and then the greed started. I wanted her to walk…she did, run…she could; go to a mainstream school…she complied. She is doing everything that I asked for. But we just don’t stop. So today instead of being greedier, I thought of sharing this beautiful letter which helps me in times when I start losing perspective. It is taken from Morris west’s “The clown of God” and seems like it is meant for all of us. All parents who have ever asked for his help, those who questioned why “me” or why at all? Read, believe, share and carry on..
You need a sign? What better one could I give than to make this little one whole and new? I could do it, but i will not. I am the Lord and not a conjurer. I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you– Eternal innocence. To you she looks imperfect– but to me she is flawless, like the bud that dies unopened or the fledgling that falls from the nest to be devoured by the ants. she will never offend me, as all of you have done. She will never pervert or destroy the work of my father’s hands. She is necessary to you. She will evoke the kindness that will keep you human. Her infirmity will prompt you to gratitude for your own good fortune.More! She will remind you every day that I am who I am, that my ways are not yours, and that the smallest dust mote whirled in darkest space does not fall out of my hand. I have chosen you. You have not chosen me. This little one is my sign to you. Treasure!”
(This letter was already used in one of my previous posts but this is so profound and beautiful that I believe it deserves to be read and shared more…)
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