In the journey to accept our special needs gift from heaven above, we generally forget that we have a ‘typical’ child, the one who is going through the same journey in his own little world. While we do talk about the ‘special bond’ and everything, we fail to realise that they can and do feel the ‘not so happy’ emotions and sometimes feelings of dejection and neglect.
Think about it! They, too, had dreams of playing with a brother or a sister who would be like others and not somebody to whom they would have to play nanny for a lifetime.
Today I want to share a story with you all that my 12-year-old son, ‘Aaryamann,’ wrote last year. I was startled to read what my little one went through when we were busy picking up our puzzle pieces of life, but this story also gave me a lot of insight into what goes on in the mind of a sibling and how they are not always the calm ocean they are considered to be.
“A fresh start to a new day,” I said. “The sun is bright, so I hope my day goes well. If it does, it would be a miracle. Being the brother of a girl with Down syndrome isn’t easy, and enduring all the teasing by my friends annoys me. So, I had my fingers crossed for the perfect day.
And it did go well. I returned home with a smile on my face. “Somebody looks happy,” my Mom said. “I have got something to make your smile go wider,” My Mom added. She asked me to go to my room. Throwing my bag on the sofa, I ran up the stairs and jumped with joy to see the Harry Potter pillow on my bed. I had been wanting it for so long.
I was over the moon. My Mom entered. ‘Your uncle saw your wish list on Amazon and sent this,” She said. I was over the moon. The clock struck 5, so I put on my shoes and was about to head out the door when Mom, as usual, said, ‘Take your sister along. She’s been waiting to go with you.’ I escaped and shut the door just in time to deafen her voice. “Thank God,” I said to myself when one of my friends asked. ‘Did your mother again ask you to bring your retarded sister? I said, No! looking down.
I played football and came back home in an hour. My father was back, and we had dal rice and chicken for dinner. Then, my mother asked me to play with my little sister, but I said I had homework to avoid that torture. It’s not that I hated her, but she is just so different from my friends’ siblings that whenever I saw my friends playing with their siblings, I wondered why in the world God chose me for a special needs sister.
I went to my room and opened my book to read when my sister entered and said, ‘Papam’. I knew she wanted water, but I ignored her and sent her out the door. She went straight to my Mom with a tear-streaked face, and my Mom entered my room within seconds to scold me. ‘She is your sister.’ My mother said. “I don’t care! She is mad, and she would make me too!” Angrily, I went to bed, soon drifting to sleep on my new pillow.
I opened my eyes, hearing someone saying, “Congratulations on your magical pillow. I was about to scream when I heard, “Don’t scream!’ There’s nothing to be afraid of. This pillow is magical! You can enter people’s dreams. I am not joking.’ Freaked out! I ran to my parents’ room to wake them up. I shook my Mom, ‘Mom! Wake up, Mom, suddenly. A twister in my stomach spun and carried me to a place, a different world. I realized. Whatever that voice said was true. It was a big house with big lawns and so many books on the floor, like how my mom always dreams, I realised that I was in my mother’s dream. There she was having tea in the lawn, a book in her hands. She looked happy, and I was ecstatic to know my superpower. I escaped her dream by blinking my eyes. This was amazing! I could know what people were dreaming about, and I can boast about this to my friends.
I tried to see what my father had in mind. Though I knew it would be that long-overdue transfer and that car, he keeps talking about. And I was right. This stuff is cool! I was getting back to my room when I thought of my sister. Though I knew whatever she dreamed about would be boring, it was still worth a shot to test the pillow once more. So, I went to her room, touched her foot, and FLASH!! It was our colony park. All my friends were playing. Why in the name of Jesus would my sister dream about my friends playing in my colony park? I got curious! And then I saw myself, running in my football jersey, sweating, shouting to my friends to pass me the ball. This dream was getting weird to understand. I stood a little longer to make sense of it when suddenly, I saw my sister running with the ball. I saw myself and my friends playing joyfully with her, cheering for her. She had the biggest grin and gave everyone a high-five. I left her dream and came back to my room.
The next evening, I got ready and put on my football shoes. I was getting out of the door when I realized something. I went back into the house, and my mom, who was in the kitchen, glanced at me and said, ‘Your football’s in the balcony.’ No! I asked, Where’s my sister?
hey deepa, how are you and ur little angels….nice article…. infact nice viewpoint…. keep it up..all the best.. give my love to ur angels…
Thanks Hayley for stopping by. My son wrote this story for a school competition and it seemed like I almost got a window to his heart. All of this didn’t happen to him but most of it is probably his interpretation of the social stigma present in the society.
He loves his sister to death. I have seen him rising from deep sleep just to check if his sister is covered well or protecting her from any possible injury when they are playing together but I also know that he too has his good days and bad days just like us when he wants alone time with me or his dad and we do encourage him for the same.
It is great to have them both. seeing them caring for each other, fighting, hugging and at the end of the day laughing like crazy. I am blessed!
thanks for writing dear friend!
Such a powerful post, especially as siblings have been at the forefront of my mind in recent months. As a Mum, I see the allowances our youngest has to make, I see her annoyances but that is true for all brothers and sisters from time to time. As long as the love shines through, and they get treats like alone time with their parents to do grown up stuff, they will turn out sensitive and compassionate adults. And yes, realise their sibling is more fun than a football…
Hayley x