What ‘Sex And The City’ Teaches You About Motherhood

Those who are already rolling their eyes because of the title can go take a long walk, while I can carry my conversation with the rest who are excited and curious.  I have been a fan of the iconic series since it was recommended to me by a close friend almost a decade ago and since then there has been no looking back; only watching back to back ( PJ ;).

While the series seemed to have deliberately worked against the myths of motherhood;  from the scene where Miranda bemoans that the witch in Hansel and Gretel was really misunderstood, Saying “the poor woman builds her dream house and those brats come along and start eating it” to the confession from Carrie that she never wants to be a mother because she is not maternal. Yet it dealt with motherhood on so many levels that it was amusing to see the characters grow into people they could have never dreamt of turning into.

From the time when Miranda seemed the last person to care for anybody to seeing her caring for her mentally ill Mother-in-law and in great contrast seeing charlotte struggling with the motherhood she used to dream about, SATC has given us so many perspectives into womanhood and motherhood that it is rarely surprising to not take anything from it.

Out of all the seasons and the movies that I’ve seen and enjoyed, the one scene that left the corners of my eyes wet with a laughter was the iconic confession scene from SATC part2 (the movie). This scene can come handy when your self-esteem plummets after ordering two pizzas in one week or when you are crashing in the bed even after smelling something funny in your kid’s bedroom.

When Charlotte confesses to Miranda about her daughter’s crying saying “She cries all day, every day”! and asks her if she is being awful when she lets her daughter cry while she closes the door, you feel knots in your stomach nodding your head, but the best part is Miranda’s reply, where she consoles her friend saying that “it’s survival“! And you understand why do you need your woman friends more than anyone else.

In the same scene when Charlotte further confesses that ‘she is more scared of losing the nanny than the husband, if they both start having an affair’ is so hilarious yet poignant, ironically showing how motherhood can really take a toll! Miranda’s own apprehensions about giving up her career for bringing up her son also rings a bell amongst many of us who do not really have a choice and could do with one.

The thing that SATC has done to the perfection is decoded some secrets of a better motherhood and while this statement can be quite ironical, I would like to share my take on it.

It makes you realise the value of good friends

While the TV always shows it better than real life and we all know that the coffee hangouts of Carrie brigade cannot possibly be taken after, but every woman would agree that it is as important to have a good friend in your life as it is to have a husband. I would further say that you can in most cases do without a husband, but a friend. Who would help you through those days and nights when you don’t know what to do with yourself. Agree? No? Take a sip!

Speaking it out loud helps

It does have its pros and cons but realising and paying attention to what you feel and getting a validation of your feelings from the people you trust. means a great deal for mothers and would be mothers. We all have seen Miranda’s struggles with morning sickness, her weight issues, vomiting and other things motherhood sends before it finally arrives. And while your friends might not be able to stay interested in every minute or figurative details, they would be more than happy to let you vent out those feelings.

You might like: Understanding Feminism As A Stay At Home Mother!

Confessions bring peace

Confessions about your true state of mind can bring peace and help you deal with unresolved issues within yourself. Though you can only do it with people who you know would take it to their graves and who better than your friends. You are sure that you can share everything unthinkable, unutterable and unimaginable and will still not be judged. You confess it to your lady friends and get the best solutions ready which can be further analysed, dissected and improved upon.

Holidaying with your girl friends can lead to better marital life

While vacationing with our family is something we all look forward to, but going out with your set of friends can help build up the passion, independence, confidence and a lot of great memories. I remember my three week holiday in London and Scotland with my friend and I know for sure that I have something to smile about for the rest of my life. Also it gave me some time away from the kids to rejuvenate and relax! The result? I came back totally crazy for them. So when you see the women in SATC2 holidaying in Abu Dhabi, you realise how much you are ready to give up to be able to have few days like that.

It gives you ‘things’ to talk about

From the men in their lives to the shoes in their walk-in closet, this series can easily be the one which you can enjoy any day every day and later discuss in detail. I know it seems like who’ve got the time? But you have to have something to discuss other than your kids, their tantrums and them pushing you to the wall. This series is simply outrageous, sometimes too absurd, sometimes too in your face, but most of the time really really funny.

So if you still feel this series is not about motherhood then you are making a mistake. Go take a sip, watch it again and enjoy the womanhood, the motherhood and few things in between!

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Deepa: "While it's true that parenting can't be learned in just two minutes, two minutes can still go a long way in parenting. An opinionated blogger, advocate for Down syndrome, writer, teacher and mother of two ( one with special needs and the other a math enthusiast), Deepa is passionate about the spoken and the unspoken of parenting."

View Comments (4)

  • parul singh says:

    I am a firm believer of friendship and i have wonderful friends ,they are imp part of my life wth thm i cn share everything
    ,they accepted me n love me the way i am .....i m all set to holidaying wth my girlfriends.....deepa lets do it ....chalo

  • Genna Millar says:

    Oh! How brilliant! This makes me want to watch SATC all over again. And Desperate Housewives. I live far away from my girlfriends and none of them have kids, so i really need these little assurances sometimes. I always dream of having friends like these!

    • Hi Genna,
      sorry for replying late but thanks a lot for writing. I have always been an SATC fan and desperate housewives is my another favourite. I know after watching these two series, one needs the company of a good friend who are just there to support, laugh or be crazy. I can't give u any assurances but you can write to me whenever you like :)

    • You are right Genna, the one thing that we can surely take from this series is the great friendship these four share. Thanks for writing!

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