Special needs mothers are often considered ‘ALIEN’! They are perceived as women who only pretend to be happy! They are always tired or have superpowers to deal with whatever they are dealing with! Most people think they are either doing therapies, giving injections or are performing open heart surgeries in their spare time! And, whenever they can, they read law books, fight with schools or write blogs for equal rights! Many think that clad in worn out PJs and stained t-shirt the special needs moms are always ready to yell or cry! but the reality is a little different than the popular perception!
Yes, a great IEP meeting, hearing a new word, a milestone, a therapy that’s working, or a happy note from a teacher can make us do crazy dance, but there are other human things that can make us happy too! It might not seem like real but we special needs mothers are as human with flesh and bones as any other mother you’d come across; yeah, yeah! I know that’s hard to believe but trust me, we do get happy and we smile too! And the best part is, we don’t need ‘Mercedes’ or ‘George Clooney’ to make us happy (though we don’t mind the company of both!), Pretty simple things can make us grin! Really little things like…
1. Being alone at home
Trust me, there’s no better heaven than 2-3 hours without kids at home! We can jump like crazy, have that cup of coffee in solace with ‘Summer of 69’ playing in the background, browse Facebook for some really shallow posts, watch ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ for the 500th time and talk on the phone without feeling guilty! I know mostly we end up- cleaning the drawers, reading about the new therapies or catching up on that sleep but that’s a different story and it doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy those few hours away being absolutely alone!
2. A Full Meal Prepared By Someone Else
This someone else could be the cook, the neighbour, the good old friend, dearest husband or the genie from the bottle! But, once a while a full meal where we do not have to step in the kitchen for the entire time can give us happy goosebumps! The after-war like condition- of the kitchen- in the end- does not deter us from enjoying this absolutely wonderful surprise!
3. An extra hour in the bed
Oh! what would a mother not give in exchange of that! Think about a day when you are woken up with a bed tea and are told that the kids have been sent to the school with the lunch and that the breakfast is ready! Yes, the husband is going to get crushed with the biggest hug ever! and the happiness quotient of that day is going to soar the highest!
4. A quiet shower
What can we give to have that quiet shower without giving constant instructions, without repeating that we’d be out in 2 minutes, without them knocking at the door 10th time, without them wanting to share their secret right at that moment, and without ‘trying’ to play referee to another sibling fight! A quiet shower is something we enjoy, we look forward to and something we do dream about!
5. An insignificant day
A day when everything goes smoothly! When there are no medical or school surprises, when the kids haven’t thrown a tantrum and are done with their homework by 6, when hubby dear is in a great mood, when the dinner is done by 7, the laundry is done and everyone is happy in the living room sharing about their day! An extraordinarily ordinary day! Bliss!
6. Not being interrupted while shopping
No one to knock on the trial room doors, no one to say that we are getting late and no one to frown about the 3rd trial of the same dress! Every girl does and it is every woman’s fundamental right! Not that we haven’t learned to shop in 10 minutes flat! But the occasional uninterrupted shopping trip can send endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin levels jump through the roof!
7. Putting on heels
Yes, we were born in PJs and the floaters are our best friends, but once in a while when we put on that absolutely ravishing dress and those killer heels, everything looks alright! The blow-dried hair, the smoky eyes, and that perfume can make us really, really happy and Sexy!
8. Watching ‘Sex And The City’ Reruns
The series is irrelevant! It could be ‘Suits’ or ‘Friends’ or ‘How I met your mother’ but being able to watch the entire episode without getting up 20 times, can make us very happy! See? I told you we are almost human!
9. The thought of waking up to a clean house
Yes, it is a thought and till the time scientists find a way to clean the house with brain-waves will remain so. But this thought can give us much desired happiness, the days when the house is relatively cleaner (yeah, we did it last night) is a better day and the mama is much calmer and so much happier!
10. A date with the husband
Yes, sometimes we do think about the guy who is so used to seeing us being a doctor in progress, who has recently been observing us with frowns and worries, who has talked to us more about the therapies than the lovely weather, and who has loved us as much in our pyjamas as much he did in the little black dress! Yes, we don’t get to do it frequently but we do like to go on a date without the kids! where we can talk about the really shallow and frivolous things, where we can hold hands while watching a movie and come back rejuvenated!
So yes, while the big things in life are important, the little things can make us smile the most when going through a rough day! From now on whenever we can, let’s count the little things in our life! And if you have a few things that make you absolutely happy, do share with us in the comments! Happy Happiness!