When I got to know that my daughter had Down syndrome, I thought of a life which would be sad, depressing and cheerless in the years to come, so strong were the prejudices, predictions and the medical opinions. The initial few years were tough because we had to get her heart fixed and put her back on her feet but since we have done that, there has been a transformation of sorts. This is not the girl I sent in the surgery room. She is changed. She has become this really naughty, giggly, mischievous girl that is so determined to shake my beliefs in peace, calm and anything that is to do with quiet that I feel like I am on this huge roller coaster ride of fun and laughter. I was told children with Down syndrome are not as smart as their typical peers and I believed. But let me tell you all, they are not only smart but they can really fool you with their pretty faces and innocent eyes. You would not even know when they play you, I didn’t. I learnt it the hard way.
First she learned to tell lies, which I thought she was not capable of, telling me that she had washed her hands when she had not. She made a fool out of me quite a few times before I realised that I was being taken for a ride. Second time was when I was told by her teacher that she bunked her class..! Huh! She? I said. You are mistaking her for somebody else!…she can’t do that’ or I thought so! The teacher told me in detail about the whole incident which I found pretty funny and smart. Here is the full story “my daughter bunked her class for the first time and I can’t be happier”
This is not all. She also thinks she is older from his teenage brother and bosses him around like a warden. She complaints if he is taking the phone in the bathroom or is still on the iPad after I have told him not to. She would come running if he is out after dark and does other things to show him ‘who the real boss is.’ Basically she is a little detective cum cop in our house for anybody and everybody who is doing anything they are not supposed to do. I know I might be making several parenting blunders giving her the authority but this all is too cute and too miraculous for us to see and for her to do.
I haven’t even talked about the extra smart quotient that she demonstrated recently. Every time I am preparing a meal in the pressure cooker ( Indian cooking device which makes a whistle sound to release the extra gas or pressure) She runs for her life! she would cry, cover her ears and would do things to tell us how uncomfortable she is. We do what we can. We mostly prepare food in other appliances or take her out for a walk whenever we have to use the cooker.
So this time when we were flying to Goa, I was losing my sleep thinking how she would cope with the crazy take-off noise. The previous times when we had flown, she was relatively smaller and I was worried about what was going to happen? I tried talking to her about the flight to prepare her. Had the ear muffs handy.
Anyway the day came, the takeoff started and the plane started to run! Not being very comfortable with the take-off myself, I was trying to control my jittery self and at the same time I tried to hold her hand but here is what I see! She is sitting in absolute comfort without wearing the ear muffs and is enjoying the run looking outside the window, grinning and asking me to open my eyes ! what a liar, I thought! How can she be OK with a take-off noise of an aeroplane whereas a small whistle irritates her. I am still trying to figure out a reason why? but yes, she surprises me every day!
That is not all. She certainly is smart and like most of our other ‘special needs’ children, knows how to have her way and can be really smart about it. I realised it at the beach. We found out after reaching there that she doesn’t really like the sea and would rather be in the room. We thought she would make peace with it because we all were enjoying so much. I asked her to make sand castles but she wanted to go back. I told her we can’t and just started the splash party when she told me she had to go potty ! “What! But you can’t do that here. We will have to go back to the hotel” I whispered. Rest as they say is the history and from then on, she knew how to get back to the room if she was even slightly unhappy about anything. And they say our kids are not smart!
One day while we all were at the pool, she said she wanted to go back to the room. I knew she could not go to the room all by herself. It was a huge hotel and I had lost my way to the room two times already. she insisted so we thought of giving it a shot ( we were chasing her quietly). She took the card went about the corridors, stairs and the restaurant to reach the room, opened the door and went in. We were looking at each other in disbelief ! Is she the same girl we sent in for the surgery who people said, would be dependent on us all her life. Damn it! she is good.
For people who still think our kids are not smart enough let me tell you that my daughter is seven plus. Manages a mainstream school and its challenges (where she is the only special needs child in her class) without an aid, helps me make tea, helps me around the house, can roll a chapati, trouble her brother, take a bath herself, get dressed and can also give me energy rich hugs and kisses whenever I am feeling down. I say she is the smartest girl I know.
I never thought life would be this beautiful when I got to know about her diagnosis. I always underestimated the positivity and love she was to bring in my life but today I am glad I am here to share all of this with her, with you guys and I am sure you all feel the same for your kiddos. More power to our kids! amen!
