Every time I read an article about parenting, I feel I am failing a little more. There is so much parenting happening at all the places that it seems like the IT boom that it once was. Everybody has an opinion and everybody wants to give one. I don’t have a problem in hearing the opinions but I do have a problem when these opinions make my ears bleed with all the nonsensical, stupid suggestions which many might just believe without thinking it through. As I always say, no one is an expert and shouldn’t claim to be. We all are learning but we should also stay away from advices which doesn’t make much sense like some of these suggestions which appeared on supposedly huge parenting sites and boasts of millions of readers, shared some ridiculous suggestions and even more ridiculous explanations that you can’t help but wonder if that is the reason why there is so much chaos in parents and their ways of parenting.
Before you start, make yourself a cup of coffee because there is a lot of unlearning you will have to do.
So here are few things that some big experts tell us ‘NOT’ to say to our kids!
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Good Job/ Great job:
According to a very famous parenting site, you should not say these words to your child because saying so every time your child masters a skill would make him/her dependent on your affirmation! Really blah! Mr. Parent whisperer, find a better profession.
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What a beautiful picture
: This so called parent expert says that when your child draws or paints something, you should not utter these words because if we put our evaluation into the child’s work, it robs them the opportunity to evaluate their own work! Did you get this? No? I didn’t get it too. And the worst part is I have been saying such non psychological, personality damaging, confidence shattering words to my kids!
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Don’t cry
: This is brilliant parenting. According to Lifehacker.com post by Shelly Phillips, saying this means that you are invalidating their feelings and saying that tears are unacceptable! OMG and I never realised that. She further states that instead you should say things like, “It’s OK to cry. I’ll be right here to listen to you! Guess what? I’ve been doing it all wrong, all my life. Good lord, Mercy!
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Don’t talk to strangers
: According to a famous parenting post that has more than 7k likes, you should not tell kids to not talk to the strangers because this is a tough concept for a young child to grasp. Because kids may take this rule the wrong way and resist the help of police officers or others meaning well. You know what does this mean? This means that stop opening your mouth to give any advice to your kids! You might ruin their future. Let them go and run wild.
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Be Careful:
This is my favourite because I say this almost every waking hour. From the time when they are jumping in the bed to their swinging, their hitting each other (out of loveJ) or them climbing down the stairs. I say that more than I say I love you. And no matter how bad a parenting that can be, I don’t think I can throw this rather evolutionary phrase that we all mothers have got in our blood, out of my system. Move on!
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I am proud of you:
Seriously! I can’t say that? Apparently No, because some hokey pokey parenting mantra says that by doing this I am making my child feel responsible for parental pride. Huh!
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Don’t worry, everything will be OK
: Do you too say that to your child? How can you? How can you not know that such a profound statement can make them think that you are pushing aside their concerns? Not giving them the finest parenting available. So now on I am using, Worry, everything will not be OK! Hope that works!
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We can’t afford that
: This is classy, this is the best advice. Because so called expert parenting says that if you say this, it sends the message that you’re not in control of your finances, which can be scary for kids. Guess I will never learn the finer nuances of parenting and one more thing, my parents did it all wrong and so did your parents.
All these so called experts forgot that we all have got one great thing available across all races, societies and strata and that is ‘common sense’. Parents, please make use of it. I too have a parenting site and love to share my experiences but coming across something that completely challenges or questions anything and everything that you’ve been doing as wrong cannot or should not be taken very seriously. We all know more than this and should take pride in the fact that we give our best. Parenting cannot be perfect. You’ll always miss out on something or the other, which is fine as long as our children are happy and we are sane.
Image credit: themamavillage.com
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