If she could…!!
The world is celebrating Father’s day. I too have been a part of the surprise ppt that my son is preparing for his dad while Aarshia is busy being curious as to why his dear brother is neck down engrossed on computer, browsing latest pictures of the family.
I tried to occupy her by giving her toys that she loves but it didn’t help. I then tried some colors but she was not interested. She kept on fiddling with the keyboard where his brother was working and then it struck me like lightening!! She also wants to participate. She might not know exactly what is the occasion and the big deal , but she definitely knows there is something which is not usual.
We, parents no matter how much sensitized but in our over loving and caring ways, forget and take it for granted that they are too young to make sense of lot of things. I too am one of them and today while seeing her trying to make that important contribution, I realized that.
This also made me quite emotional and took me on a different plane altogether. I would not lie , but sometimes I think and imagine Aarshia without this extra chromosome and how different life would be. Today was one of those days, she is so close to her dad that I can’t help but imagine that if she could, she would’ve also been busy making a card or a similar presentation for dear dad trying to outdo her brother. She would’ve been busy with crayons, colors, sheets and other things to show dad how much she loves him. I know such thoughts and imaginative journeys are not good, so I shook my head and came back to the world of reality where my angel was still looking at the computer screen but I couldn’t help but wonder if she did understand what was happening.?
She is 6 and I can help her make a card for dad but somehow I didn’t do that. I wanted her to convey in her own way, without knowing she has to. Though in my head I kept thinking if our kids know more than what they can communicate. In some senses they do but how it is for them to be in their shoes.
A wise man, the father of a grown up down syndrome girl, when asked about how our kids feel of their own condition, asked to imagine yourself standing at a busy bus station in a country where nobody speaks your language, where You do understand few words but mostly are not able to make sense of what those people are talking and why they are looking at you strangely. Where You are trying to convey but nobody understands. You are trying and trying some more but still not able to make yourself heard, you are almost shouting but nobody is paying attention. This is how your child might feel….
I got goose bumps just thinking about it. I know this might not be completely true but for a second, it gave me shivers and I couldn’t help imagining how difficult it can be for our kids.
There are certain things in life we can never get answers to. Like what if she could. ..Talk better, communicate better, understand better…I know if she could, she would’ve told her dad how much she loves him that he is the best dad in the whole wide world but words are not all she has, she has more than that…and thats what she used today, her charm and more than made up for that card too, by showing him her latest dance moves on skype, by sending continuous flying kisses, by that infectious laughter, by spreading her arms and by saying papa I dove you ( I love you)…
Happy Father’s day..