There are days when I forget that my daughter has ‘Down Syndrome.’ In fact I often forget that she has any ‘disability’ at all. In the rut of the day and the acceptance of the mind, sometimes this fact lose its way to my head. These days are generally not of one kind. Usually they are completely opposite.These are days when I am deeply immersed in love and the beauty of my daughter’s laughter and naughty smiles, that I forget she has anything to do with any disability. I forget that her sparkling eyes look like ‘almond’ to the world and that her hugs are compartmentalised into some ‘Happy Syndrome.’
Then there are days when the tempers are running lose, when nothing is going right and when she throws more drama than I can handle! I forget about her disability on such days as well. I give her a piece of my mind, and some good dose of my ‘not so loving’. words When she behaves like a smart little cookie, lying about her brushing her teeth or washing her hands. I forget about her disability then too. I forget that it could be because she is imitating her brother or might have gotten it from TV. On such days I don’t let ‘down syndrome’ come in the way and deal with her the way I deal with my son.
Apart from me regretting my behaviour about being a disciplinarian, I just find it amusing that I can ever forget about my daughter’s disability. It is the single most important thing that has kept me occupied after her birth. It is the darkest cloud of grief that we encountered in our life at that time when we didn’t know any better and thought that there was just no way out.
Also read: 16 Quotes Every Special Needs Parent Should Read And Share!
I remember the days, that were hard to live and the nights that were hard to sleep. But now, it is all settled. The acceptance have found its way inside and the love has taken over the guilt and the loss. Guess, it was all part of a plan! Surprisingly, it is not just about the birth of a child with special needs, it is pretty much about everything in life that has ever happened to you, me or anybody else. We get used to it! Human beings can get used to almost everything that they think is beyond their wildest imaginations.
“That is probably part of a bigger plan to help us understand life, destiny, the world and help us get some perspective about us, in respect to this magnanimous universe!”
I often tell myself that If I could go back and talk to my own self the day my daughter was diagnosed, I would most definitely tell myself that ‘EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT’ that ‘ WE ALL WILL COME TO TERMS WITH HER DIAGNOSIS’ that ‘HER DIAGNOSIS WOULD NOT MEAN THE END OF THE WORLD!’ I would tell my sleep deprived husband that one day we will cheer for her when she will be dancing on the stage and one day we will be laughing out loud when she would say or do something ridiculously funny and a day is so near in future when he would not worry about her future, her getting independent, go to a school or about her ever being able to make friends!
The truth is that I did not think any of this would ever happen. I did not think there would be a day when I would forget about my daughter’s special needs and when the days and months would pass by without us crying through the days and howling through the nights.
Today, when she proudly reads her book to me, I feel like grabbing the arm of my older self and telling her to wipe away the tears and smile 🙂 I want to tell my ignorant old self that there would be days when she would not even remember anything about the disability and would have a perfectly normal life, just like what she had always imagined.
Believe
I want all the new mothers to believe when the older mothers like me say ‘It All Being Worth It In The End.’ I want all the new mothers to trust me and other older mothers when we tell them to celebrate the birth of this wonderful person in their life, and to thank God for introducing them to someone who is going to make them learn more than they could ever learn otherwise.
This video made me realise that there is so much I would like to tell you, the new mother. There is so much that I want to share. The words might never be enough for me to bring you out of your grief but this video, (whoever made this, God bless her) would surely do! This is what all of us mothers who have learnt the miracle and have been witnessing it every day would like to tell you. Watch carefully and believe!
Image credit:
hooverheightsmedia.com, fineartamerica.com, funlava.com
